I am amazed how many stories I read online, stories told by friends and people I meet, and documentaries I watch about individuals in love relationships that make them miserable and depressed and in a constant state of drama in their life. I think it is sad and I don’t understand it. Love is supposed to bring you up and make your life better, not worse!
Here are six scary signs that tell you that you are in the wrong relationship, and if you see many of these you need to get the heck out and find someone else.
- Abuse. I don’t care whether you are man or woman, dog or cat, if you are in a relationship where someone abuses you physically or emotionally of verbally, they do not love you. Oh, sure they say they do, but they don’t. People who sincerely love you should not abuse you. It is so obvious they should do the opposite; they should take care of you. No excuses, no explanations get out now. Once an abuser always an abuser. I recently watched a documentary about O.J. Simpson, and it is so tragic how much physical abuse she tolerated from her husband. We all know the sad ending.
- Constant fighting. I hear people say all the time “my wife and I just don’t get along we fight all the time!” As Bill Engvall would say “there’s your sign.” If you fight all the time, why would you want that? Why would you want high blood pressure? Why wouldn’t you want someone you have peace with every day? A partner you can have fun with all the time. Someone who is not a pain?
- But I love them. If you find yourself saying all the time, “well she is always drinking and an alcoholic, but I love her.” Or “He is a loser and can never keep a job, but I sure love him.” If you constantly must describe very negative qualities, but still love them something is wrong, they are a loser, and you should get out. Why in God’s name do you love a loser anyway? I recently heard someone call an advice radio show and say, “I have a really good husband and he is a good man, but his drinks all the time and passes out, and it is dangerous for my children” Hello??? He is not a good husband he is an irresponsible bad husband and a terrible father, but she loves him. What the hell is lovable about him?
- They are married to someone else. I don’t care what the story is that they are “in the process of getting a divorce” or whatever lame explanation they give, run out the back door. Here is the deal: This person is legally, morally spiritually, and technically committed to someone else. They are not yours they belong to someone else. You are walking in a hot mess of trouble and heartache. It is also highly possible they will not get divorced or will “change their mind” and go back to the person they have a long history with and will break your heart. It is a story that has been repeated throughout history.
- Red flags. When you are dating someone long enough, there are red flags that pop up along the way, and many people ignore them. Ignore that at the expense of your happiness. Here is the deal, if they lie their face off to you and you know it, then don’t ignore it otherwise you will marry a liar. I am amazed at how many people ignore the red flags when they are dating because they are blinded by, what, love? Loneliness? Need? (sad) They saw the person going into a rage and chose to ignore the fact they had a foul temper. Then they are “stunned” later when they embarrass them in a restaurant by making a scene when they blow up on the server. You didn’t see that coming? You already saw the preview so why did the movie surprise you?
- Multiple failed marriages. I see many people who are dating someone and in love with someone who has been married four times! Okay, I will give a hall pass people do make mistakes sometimes in who they choose. But if your honey has had multiple failed marriages, be very careful and get to know them for a long time before committing. I’m not saying people can’t change. I am just saying the history often repeats itself. You are going to get crushed.
If you see any of these signs, as Paul Simon would say, “get out the back jack, make a little plan Sam, hop on the bus, Gus.”
Life is too short, and you deserve to live a better life.