I was conducting a training program at a company and was sitting eating lunch with some of the people that were in the class. Somehow in the conversation the subject of wives came up and one guy in the group said with a frown on his face, “Well you haven’t met my wife. She’s quite a pain.”
I am always saddened when I hear this, because I also wonder what the wife would think if she knew that her husband was speaking about her that way, and I wonder what she says about him. Look, you met someone you fell in love and you married them because you were madly in love with them. Then, life happened, work and kids and maintenance and cars… well you know.
Today is the day to change all that. I want you to become the husband that your wife always wanted (if you are a wife, then the same advice applies). How? Here are 10 tips that will make all the difference in the world.
Tip #1: Make a commitment to listen to her. She loves you and she knows that you love her but guess what? You need to show that you love her by making a commitment not just to the marriage but to being her sounding board, her advisor, her venting partner who she can talk to and know that you will truly listen, and not even with any attempt to respond, just to listen.
Tip #2: Do one small thing every day to show her that you love her. Maybe you get up a little early and make her cup of coffee in the morning, maybe you see the kids off to school while she sleeps in just a little. People often say that small things don’t matter. Well, they are wrong. They mean everything.
Tip #3: At least once a week do something romantic. Buy her card telling her that you love her, bring home flowers when it is not a special occasion, write her a small love note and leave it on the dashboard of her car.
Tip #4: Tell her that you love her and tell her why. Tell her you love her because she’s such a good mom, or because she’s so kind to others, or she has a great laugh, or she’s just so smart. Tell her that you love her but also tell her why you love her and make it as specific as possible.
Tip #5: Call her or text her at some point during the day. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation just let her know that you love her and let her know that you were just thinking about her.
Tip #6: Save something for her. If you are reading a magazine or newspaper, and you see something you think that she would like, cut it out and save it and tell her you read it and you thought that she would like it. So, you saved it for her.
Tip #7: Brag about her publicly to someone else. Here is an idea: When you’re out in public, socializing, make sure to say something nice about your wife to other people. Tell them your wife is brilliant at interior design. Tell them you’re so proud of her and how well she’s done in her career. Smile and make it a public declaration (I do this all the time).
Tip #8: Post something nice about her on Facebook. Tell the entire world of Facebook that you married the best woman in the world and that you are a lucky man to be her husband.
Tip #9 Ask her what she wants to do. On some weekend when you have a free day, tell her that it is her day and ask her what she would like to do and just make it happen. Tell her it is “her day”.
Tip #10: Steal her away for a long weekend. When is the last time the two of you went together alone for a long weekend somewhere? I’m sure the answer is a very long time. Surprise her and make plans to go away for long weekend – alone just the two of you. If there is childcare to arrange make take care of those in advance.
Some husbands reading this would say “why should I do this?” That’s the wrong question to ask the real question is why shouldn’t you? I assure you that if you strive to be a great husband then your wife will love you back 10 times more than you expect.